VINCENTOLI BLANTEEV
is one of the worlds foremost
high-attitude mountaineers. He
has summited twelve of the New England
4000-footers in winter without the use
of supplemental beer and has climbed
Mount Washington lots of times.
G. MOUNT DA GOMERLY
is a certified sport utility driving ham-and-egger and a
webpagemaker who specializes in spoofo-plagurisum, fabrication and B-O graphs. His work Outer Mongolian Underwater Basket Weavers: Killed By El Nino Drought compelled HAE's Department
of Bullshit to acknowledge that this web page idea was killed and the piece should had never been published.
FRONT JACKET PHOTO: JOHN BELLANTONI
REAR JACKET PHOTO: MARK NIERMEYER
WEB PAGE DESIGN: TIMOTHY A. NOVAK
AINT FARTIN'S PRESS
DRINK A' FIFTH AVENUE *
NEW DORK, NEW DORKVILLE 011010
{In 's INTO BIG MAINE}, although Blanteev grants
Vincentoli certain strengths, he never paints the big picture of one
of the most amazing rescues in HAE winter mountaineering history,
performed handedly in a few hours with a Leathermate tool, after
climbing Mt. Bigelow without booze by a man some describe as the
Burnt-Down Woods of New England Climbing. Vincentoli has bagged
many of New England's highest peaks solo, in less than a day, and
always without the brews (because of his personal ethic). Having
already done Mt. Bigleow twice, in 1988-1989 and 1992-1993, he foresaw
no problems with this years RETURN TO MAINE, yet noted that several
other HAE members were not on the peak, and positioned himself not
to be so partyed or trashed out enough that he couldn't respond to
any emergency party supplies. His hot toddies were not a fluke.
--THWAMBEN YURODWELH
The Well Geeks Urinal, January 27, 1998
"Once again Blanteev at his spooferistic best! Unbelievable!" -- OutHouse OnLine
"Hae, could you help identify some bodies?" -- Novasch's call from the Maine Staties
"This is the adventure story our fans were asking for!" -- Vincentoli, on the side of Mt. Abe
"...we couldn't take the trailer, so we took the trailer wheel!" -- Markus
yo...er...hi mom,hi dad!
-VINCENTOLI BLANTEEV
To them smelly farts of Fredulus Quillumb Mountgomerlybreath
-G. Mount Da Gomerly
THE CLAMB. Copyright @ 1999 by Vincentoli Blanteev and G. Mount DaGomerly. All rights not reserved. Printed in the united states of cyber-space. Any part of this web page may be reproduced in any trashy, spoofed up manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of boneheads and homie boys using quotations to bust on our spoofy pulp trash. For information call 555-1212
Design by Timur Novasch
Maps and Illustrations by Weaint Gotany
HAE today has not only gone mainstream, it's a business, and that entails a rising tendency to edit my trashy crap for political correctness. We're sorry that the spin HAE authors can put on a story must first pass rigorous HAE censors. We know that substituting in vanilla flavored, official HAE sanctioned words like fuck, shit, haebar and break in, in place of the authors original text, is a total cop out. The positive side to all this is now HAE team members can make a living from what they love to do, without having first to endure endless questions from friends and authoritative types. The downside of this, needless to say, can be seen in the increased crowds flocking to other web sites, the proliferation of wilderness preservation regulations ignored by the HAE crew, and today as it always has been, the half-assed slap-stick at HAE base camps that will never make it to the lights of cyber-space.
- Vincentoli Blanteev,
Cybah-Spaced Mountain Correspondent, August, 1997
The Mountan Climb is a great game! You can't sit there unmoved!
- Timur Novasch,
Game Section of HAE Website, February, 1998 |
