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backwoods beanheads

December 30, 2003
Bemis Mountain Region, Maine

     The team kept the camp fire uncharacteristically small. The buzz on the 'net was HAE would be apprehended at all costs this year and they didn't want to make it easy for the Feds. Even Vincentoli was nervous, gripping his saw a bit tighter and glancing over his shoulder like a deer during hunting season.

     "I don't like it." mumbled Vincentoli softly. "No roadblocks, no stake outs at the State Liquor store, not even a cop at Eastern Mountain Sports... Somethings up, I tell ya..."

     Rexx let out an editorial sigh. "Easy, Vincentoli, we won't be harrassed this year. I think the federales are all out of money."

     "'Homeland security', they blew the budget on 'homeland security'". Timur said confidently. "The Feds are looking for terrorists not HAE!"

     McAnus stopped shoveling and "shushed" the rest of the crew. "You hear that...?"

     Vincentoli stood up, eyes wide and jaw tight. The rest of the team was on their feet as well. The only sound was the crackle of the insufficient blaze. The darkness beyond the meager light of the fire was like a black wall.

     "Somebody just keyed a mic... sounds like the police band to me... How did the donut squad get..."

     Vincentoli was abruptly interrupted by an obnoxious feedback blast of a government issue megaphone. "DROP THE SAW AND STEP AWAY FROM THE FIRE!"

     The stunned team stared at each other in disbelief.

     Again with the feedback and then, "This is the FBI, CIA, ATF, DEA, PTA AND and a rep from REI... YOU ARE SURROUNDED...!"

     "OH YEAH..." Vincentoli screamed as he thrust his fist skyward and extending the appropriate finger, "WELL YOU CAN KISS MY BIG BROWN SPOT 'CUZ WE'RE HAE!"

Yep, that's right. YOU can be on the HAE team! So drop the saw, get out your wallet and click over to our membership page to get signed up! Go... NOW...

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Copyright 2003 Half Ass Expeditions