WINTER 2001

The HAE Hummer was parked at the shoulder of a rarely used road that cut through a big hunk of wilderness somewhere in northern New England.

Fife was unloading the instruments as Tim pulled out the packs. The air was unnaturally warm for New England in February.

JB fiddled with a small box of circuts, wires and electrical tape. He was agitated as he spoke, "It will work this time, I swear."

Mark was busy slathering his arms with sunscreen when he scoffed, "Yeah, like last year...".

"And the year before." Tim added.

JB was stuffing his lastest creation into his pack as he spoke, "I'm tellin' you... my weather deframinizer WILL reverse global warming... We'll be wearing our woolies just like the old days."

The team had shouldered their packs and started into the woods when the first "thup-thup-thup" of the helicopters could be heard.

"Oh shit...." JB dropped his pack. "I knew shouldn't have borrowed that chip from the lab."

Half Ass Expeditions is widely known for the near fatal events on Mount Bigelow, Maine in 1987, chronicled in their online adventure classic, Into Big Maine. HAE is responsible for countless acres of deforestation in northern New England during their well publicized annual winter backpacking expeditions.